Confessions of a Recovering Pack Rat

In order to re-carpet my childhood bedroom, my parents packed up every thing that I left behind into boxes for me to go through. What I realized going through all of this stuff is that I have pretty much kept every random thing I ever acquired through my entire childhood. My mom gave me two options: a trash can and the back seat of my car headed back to Ottawa. It appears that I have been completely cut off -- even though I left home 4 years ago, I am now officially moving out. Anyone who knows me well, knows that throwing things away is really hard for me to do. I like having things around me that remind me of home or old friends, I find it comforting. Translation: If you gave me a valentine ten years ago that said something I thought was sweet, I probably still have it! That said, I spent the last two years living in the smallest closet of a room so I am becoming better at throwing the less important stuff away. Its easier for older people, they don't have to throw stuff out they can just give it away to their children knowing its going to a good home-- especially in my case, my parents know I will probably hold on to it for years. Plus older people are allowed to keep things, they've likely had it for so long that its practically become an antique-- whereas no one trusts that my thimble, glass tea animals or bottle collections will ever be worth something.

Last week, I spent several hours going through the many boxes, trying to re-live my childhood and convince myself that I dont need any of the 8 french grammar and verb booklets I filled out in Public School and evidently thought I would need someday, or the 5x5 foot giant, and I mean giant, picture of Celine Dion that literally takes up an entire wall of my room (It used to hang from the ceiling in Wal-mart if that gives you some idea of how big it is!) -- Thinking back on this now, I'm surprised it didn't give me nightmares! I ended up throwing a lot of things away, but some things, like plane tickets and concert stubs, I couldnt bear not to keep for fear that I might forgot these little details of my life and also because I'm hoping I will one day become a better Mormon and learn how to scrapbook.


Some things, on the other hand, I was not only unsure why I kept them but equally why they were ever made in the first place. I'm hoping that by sharing these, it will help cure me of my pack-rat-edness!
Witness Exhibit A:



Again...
This was 1 of 4 of an Andy Warhol inspired artwork I did in the 8th grade. Yup thats me as the Statue of Liberty.... yup there is a person waving out of my head...



I was also clearly a classy child. When asked to make a cd cover this is what I came up with:
(Those who attended a recent trip to Algonquin Park will understand this better!)



For anyone, including myself, who ever doubted my soccer experience, more like prowess really, this is all the proof you need! (Looking back I think I should have kept this and used it for my cereal every morning)


And my prom corsage. You know you're a pack rat when you've kept flowers that are over four years old... Just putting it on my hand, it started to fall apart all over the floor!



It wasn't all bad though, I found a newspaper clipping from my very first fashion show in grade nine! I was in the formal scene and I remember being soo terrified--- also for a fashion show, my dress was kind of ugly!



And probably my favourite find/treasure of the day is a ridiculous story that I wrote in Public School. My grade school friends will appreciate it because they are all featured in the story! I’m not sure how old I was when this was written, I think 10 but I'm embarrassed because based on the quality of the writing I wish I had been younger! I tried to resist commentary as much as possible because this story is so ridiculous that I really wanted to comment after everyone line, what I did add is in brackets! Enjoy!

The Killers Ghost

As I was walking to Brianna Hurley's Halloween party, I saw a new house. It was like it appeared out of nowhere. Did you ever see that house before I asked Mrs. Hurley and Brianna. "No! We haven't", they said. Everyone in the class that was at the party went to see the house except Bram and David, because Brianna killed Bram because he was a killer. She also killed David because she thought he was a killer, but he wasn't he was just telling Bram to stop killing. But Brianna thought they were planning who to kill next. But she was wrong. As we entered the house, a ghost of some sort passed by us. Cory was so scared he fainted and fell over a little hole in the floor. As we went to see him his heart beat stopped so we turned him over and we saw a knife in his back. As we stood there astonished we joined in a circle, we looked at each other to make sure no one was hurt. As we turned our backs we noticed that two of our friends were missing, Amelia and Michael. We had nothing to do but move on. As we moved down the dark hall we saw something, it looked like Bram or David. We couldnt tell which. We started running down the hall but we came to a dead end. The wall started to enclose on us. Brianna saw a crack in the wall so she pushed on it and a door opened. A big stairway went downwards. We went and the door slammed behind us. Out of what we saw inside the house this room was the most vibrant. Brigette stepped on a loose board making us all fall through to the dungeon, where we saw Amelia and Michael.

Chapter 2

As Brianna and Brady unchained Amelia and Michael, in the distance David came with a gun. As Brianna noticed the gun she dodged out of the way trying to push Brady but not succeeding. The bullet hit Brady in the stomach, another friend lost and then he disappeared. We werent out of this yet! We were stuck in a big room with a dead person. Then Caroline, amazed at all of the books in this room, ran to one of the books called Famous artists. As she did a ghost came out and she fainted. Then the ghost went past Jeremy, he froze not knowing what to do. The ghost suddenly disappeared and we all saw a big wet mark on Jeremy's leg. We laughed very hard and Jeremy said "O Mama!" and fell to the ground. Stevie, who had a secret passion for him ran to him and said, "Oh my darling don't leave me!" But it was too late. He was gone forever.

Chapter 3

Abby screamed 'Look a secret passage!' We were very happy. We saw a water filter but instead of having water in it, it had blood, 2 eye balls and an arm. 'Oh! Cory', Amelia exclaimed, 'thats Cory'. 'How do you know?' said Kyle, who was getting annoyed that she cared for Cory instead of him. 'Well Cory told me he was getting a tattoo of a squall that said something on his right arm.' It says, Dying Sucks. (Oh the irony!) "Thats ttt..aaaaaahhhh!!!' shouted Vanessa, 'something hit me on the back', and with that she plunged forward. Someone had stuck a cleaver in her back. 'No heart beat' said Stephen and he touched her and fell down dead. Everyone wished they were home warm in their beds. We moved on scared,very scared. (yup I had actually underlined that part!) We saw a ghost with a shot gun, he seemed like Bram, very mad that Brianna had killed him. (It’s not confirmed whether it was or was not bram.. it only seemed like him) He pointed the gun at Brianna shot and hit her arm. Brianna was badly hurt but was still alive. Very hurt Brianna, decided to keep going with the other's. (I'm so brave!)

Chapter 4

They managed to slip into a tunnel in the wall. Daniel Stairs went last and was a bit too big to get through and suffocated himself to death. The others kept going and at the end of the tunnel into a graveyard. There were skeletons. Nobody noticed but one had a needle and poked Bradley, he fell and hit Abby who also died. (Now it seems like I'm just trying to kill everyone before the end) I was mad, Abby was my good friend, I will miss her dearly. (as opposed to all of the other friends I had just lost) We kept moving, very upset at all the deaths. And Bram and David came out and said 'we are sorry', no one noticed but they had their hands behind their back. Zoe went up to David and stuck her hand out to shake hands. David did the same, he had a zap on his hand. They shook hands and Zoe was electrocuted. Brianna screamed out, 'Stop! Its not them you're after, it is me!' (Clearly I had watched waaay too many movies) She ran towards Bram with the cleaver that he had stabbed Vanessa with. Bram pulled his hand out behind his back and shot his shotgun at her and..... To Be Continued


I never actually wrote the end of this sadly. I'm not sure if I ever had any idea of where it was going to go. Considering the time period when this was written it probably would have ended with David not being dead and him and Brianna falling in love. Anyways this story gives some weird insight into the messed up imaginative mind I had when I was younger.
Frankly now that I'm older I'm considering another angle, possibly throwing people off guard by killing off all of my friends at Christmas or Valentines day-- something unexpected! Seriously this could be big, I can already hear the tag line for the movie they will make when they buy the rights.... "New City, New Crowd, No way she'll get away this time!" Please send your requests as to how you would like to die, to www.KillersGhostTheSequel.com

-B

Screw Slaying the Dragon.... Just Open the Freakin Door!

Fifty years ago, maybe more, in an age better known for chivalry, it was a common occurrence for a man to open the door for a lady. Whether it was a car door for your date or a store door for a stranger, men stopped and took the time to hold the door. Fast forward to 2010, nowadays this practice is something we announce to our girlfriends to show what a good guy we have or to brag about the lovely stranger that did something so out of the ordinary. What was once routine and expected has become rare and sometimes even an annoyance. The modern feminist can't seem to understand why a man would go out of his way to open a door for her when she can easily do it on her own for her self.

Are feminists to blame for this? Did men get sick of being treated like jerks for not recognizing a womans independence and decide to stop trying all together? Did fathers suddenly stop teaching their sons this basic courtesy?

What is ironic about the whole situation is that women really shot themselves in the foot because if they are to blame, it was them that were benefiting from the action in the first place and are now missing out. Then again an intense feminist would probably argue that women were not benefiting because no one benefits from further subjugation and repression.

Alright this is beginning to sound like a rant!

What I really wanted to present as a possible explanation is this, that it is not so much feminists or male laziness that has caused the decline of chivalry, although I don't think these options should be eliminated all together, instead it is technology... Technology has killed chivalry.

This may seem like a rash, bold even confusing statement but I will explain. Technology has improved the standard of living for the entire world, that is undeniable. In fact there seem to be so many positives to technology that its hard to imagine saying much that is opposite. I think in regards to chivalry two words will suffice: automatic doors. Whoever dreamed up and then implemented automatic doors is a genius. He understood the modern persons laziness and need for convenience.. then again maybe his invention created that modern person... either way we love it! Grocery shopping just wouldn't be the same if I had to manoevre my cart through a door on my own--- there are many ways of doing this successfully but none of them involve looking cool in any way!

So imagine my perplexity when I went to leave a store yesterday and nothing happened. I stood in front of the door and it didn't open!! I just stood there stupidly not completely cognisant of what I was expecting to happen. After a few seconds I realized that this store was not equipped with automatic doors and in order to leave the store I would have to open the door myself. Thankfully I dont think anyone saw this! But seriously, this is what has happened! Ten years ago I would have expected a man to open it and now I fully expect the door to open on its own. Neither of these happened. Chivalry is dead and when technology fails I get confused and disoriented!

We have all got used to the automatic door, often taking it for granted. For a feminist, the automatic door should be a daily reminder and confidence booster that you do not need a man and you can still look calm cool and put together strolling out of the grocery store. They should attach signs below the enter and exit sign saying "No man required" or "No need for chivalry, we got you covered".

Men have been replaced by automatic doors!

If you think about it automatic doors are reliable, there for you when you need them most and they open up easily, so really they are like the perfect man. Maybe technology hasnt killed chivalry, its killed men and taken their spot!!

'Everything I've Forgotten to Forget'

Friday Night. Live Lounge. AndPop and Friends Acoustic Tour. 6 Bands. Amazing.

So a few friends and I headed down to the Live Lounge to check out some new bands.. mostly I just wanted to see Amos the Transparent but the other bands were surprisingly good as well!!

I have mentioned before that I get slightly star struck. It is no secret that I get super giddy over just about any celebrity of any kind-- this includes any and all local celebrities. I will be excited to meet you and probably tell everyone and their dog about it! Anyways, we get to the Live Lounge, sit down and look beside us and realize that most of the members of Amos the Transparent are literally sitting right beside us. Jessica announced to them, as if they weren't sure, that they are Amos the Transparent and would be playing that night! They took this news fairly well.. almost as if they were aware of it! I played it super cool and pretended I didnt think anything of the fact that I was sitting next to the band, meanwhile I kept thinking to myself --- When they become super huge I will be telling my grandchildren about this night... yes my mind goes that far! I think the band is so good maybe it could go that far, who knows! http://www.amosthetransparent.com/

One of the guitarists- James (Seen Below)- was sitting beside me. He was quite the gentleman, he offered me a melted Halloween size Kit Kat bar, which I immediately regretted not taking, and a band aid; both things he found in his band-mate Kate's purse. Later he showed me the game he was playing on his iPhone, which involves beating up a cat by hitting the screen. I told him the game was awful and he assured me it was real... "this is really happening right now!". He was a fun guy who made my night more interesting-- and I will probably cyber stalk him now!

Some new bands I hadn't really heard of played that night as well. I didn't get a picture of Old Crowns but Rex got so into it that the lead singer came and gave him a free copy of their cd after the show! http://oldcrowns.com/

Probably my favourite of the night, after Amos, was Robyn Dell'unto. She is a singer from Toronto that came and sang with her sister, Jen. http://www.myspace.com/robyndellunto

They both have gorgeous voices and Robyn was actually hilarious!! She delivered quick ridiculous understated humour at its best. She sang a song about breaking up with her boyfriend. "Stop looking at redhead porn, you're dating a brunette.. so thats not cool". She dumped him and then went and dyed her hair red--- how could I resist this?!

This is a small part of one of the songs:

Everlea, a band from Kingston, also played. Normally they would be considered more of a rock band but at the concert they played their acoustic tracks. I liked it--- lots of sappy romantic ballad type stuff. No one else seemed to appreciate it quite as much. http://www.myspace.com/everlea

Amos closed the show with a bang! They are a six member band from Ottawa. The lead singer is Jonathan Chandler, his voice is gorgeous. The first time I ever heard of the band was actually when Jonathan opened for Stars, he sang solo. He has a powerful, hearty voice that kind of has an eastern Canada ring to it-- hard to explain. All together though the members create something really different and equally as great! They were amazing!! Check out their myspace: http://www.myspace.com/amosthetransparent



Dan Hay actually whips out a bow for some of the songs-- he brings cool to a new level; a quirky old fashion cool!

I made sure I had the best seat in the house!! I was super close to the front! Also on a semi-related side note, if you go to a concert and aren't sure what to wear... go with the plaid! I didnt know this before but its a super safe bet ... there must have been at least 15 people wearing plaid shirts that night.. I felt like a conformist--- a cool one! ;)

Jess and I decided to use the bathroom before we left... we didnt end up leaving that bathroom for another half hour!! Why you may ask? I randomly told jess in the stall how hungry I was, and as I emerged I was stopped by a random slightly drunk girl asking me if I would consider walking out of my way to buy delicious panini's. She works/owns the Union Smokeshop downtown next to the bytowne and insisted on telling me all about the ingredients and the history of the Smokeshop and wanted my opinion on whether it should stay open later on weekends. At one point I actually stopped her and told her I needed to go wash my hands, but she literally kept talking through the whole thing. Anyways this is my plug for the Union Smokeshop downtown on Rideau St. http://www.wix.com/larocquer/nini-panini Go eat there and let me know what you think in the comment section.. I'll have to make my way as well.. I expect a deal since I'm friends with the owner!

-B

Ottawa Busker Fest

--I know I know I've completely sucked at updating Blogs... the truth is I am constantly thinking about blogging but rarely actually sitting down and doing it!---

Last weekend was the Ottawa Busker Festival, in which busker's a.k.a. slightly creepy street performers from all over the world, come to Ottawa to show us their strange and impressive talents. I was in Brampton for most of the weekend so I only caught a few shows on Monday. Basically the busker's set themselves up all along Sparks Street, assemble a huge crowd of people around them, perform for everyone and then super awkwardly ask for money--- sometimes in a long drawn out annoying kind of way that makes you want to walk away and purposely not pay them! For the most part though the whole show is really good and generally most Busker's are pretty funny so its hugely entertaining.
I snapped a few pics for those of you who missed out!




Brynne and Rex came with me!! Beaver Tails are a must any time of year!... get the Maple Syrup one, Brynne got it and it was oh soo soo good!!



Silver Elvis--- not too exciting. He moved robotically to Elvis music. Slightly anti-climatic!

For those living under a box, this is a chalk painting of the famous National Geographic cover from a few years ago. I have no idea how they did this but it is amazing!! Her eyes are crazy in real life and the fact that he captured that with chalk is disgusting! --- Sad that it has rained since then!

So something pretty sweet about the Ottawa Busker Festival is that some pretty big names in the busker world come out! One is John Higby who has performed on David Letterman and holds a Guinness World Record!! He and his wife have performed in over 18 countries. Check out his website yoyoshow.com



He made yo yo look so easy!! Here he is on a giant unicycle and a tiny one all while yo-yoing with two yo yo's!! It was really cool!!



This performer calls herself Bendy Em. She is a contortionist from Sydney Australia. This performance was def. my favourite of the day! In this first picture she is completely folded in half. www.bendyem.com


The men in these photos were both randomly chosen from the audience, which makes the stunts even cooler

The Grand Finale of the show is of her squeezing herself into a 16” box!! Its soo cool and yet so disturbing! How is this even possible?!! My legs hurt after sitting cross legged for too long!

I haven't decided yet if the Busker festival is meant to make you feel really untalented --- I kept trying to come up with awesome entertainments I could do.. sadly my best effort was solving a Rubik's Cube, but even that takes me 10 minutes.. I'd have to think of some freakin hilarious jokes. On the other hand I dont think these people have much of a life other than this so maybe its more of a cautionary tale-- spend too much time practicing one thing and this is what you become!! Entertaining either way!!