Always a Bridesmaid...

Nowadays when a bride asks someone to be her bridesmaid, it usually involves helping out with wedding prep., maybe planning a party or two and wearing a dress that matches the tablecloths.

These are all harmless things so naturally the friend accepts without putting much thought into it. What she fails to consider are the century old superstitions that come along with the role of the Bridesmaid and the risks that they involve.
There has been evidence of the role of the bridesmaid for thousands of years. According to pagan folklore, the original purpose of bridesmaid's was to confuse evil spirits from bringing bad luck to the bride on her wedding day. Despite this risk, these bridesmaid's viewed their position as an honour because of the protection they were bringing their friend by putting themselves in danger of bad luck.
And yet since that time the role has completely shifted.
This brings to mind the old adage 'Three Times a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride'. It is possible that this phrase came from the fact that putting yourself in that dangerous position three times, ultimately jeopardizes your own chances at a happy marriage.

As well, part of what it means to be a Bridesmaid is to get all dressed up and put on display. During the sixteenth century, it was believed that if no one thought you were desirable after looking your best at three different weddings, you'd have no chance of ever marrying!
The phrase has now come to refer to someone who often gets second place but can never quite win, leaving single women all over to feel like they can never quite measure up. Thus, the risk of being a bridesmaid has switched from a physical risk to risking your social status and possibly self esteem! Other silly myths and superstitions have come around to compensate for this: If a single woman catches the bouquet, she will be the next to marry. If a bridesmaid sleeps with a piece of wedding cake under her pillow she will dream about her future husband.


The reason I've been thinking about this at all is because I, myself have been a bridesmaid three times and I am coming up on my fourth time with Aimee's wedding.

My first time as a bridesmaid was in 2004, when I was16 for my oldest sister Andrea and her husband Max. (Apparently during a time before digital cameras were invented. Read: No picture of me in the gorgeous Navy full length dress I wore)

My second time as a bridesmaid was in 2008 for my best friend Angela.

Another risk is that Brides may do things like this!


My third time as a bridesmaid was this past summer for my best friend Marieve.

Me, Marieve, Meredith and Jessica.

Can you tell that I completely adored these outfits?! A skirt is revolutionary as an amazing bridesmaid outfit!! Love!

All were gorgeous weddings and I have been very lucky to have had nice bridesmaid dresses/outfits!
Now that its my fourth time being a bridesmaid, a new adage comes to mind "ALWAYS a bridesmaid, never a bride". This saying has been around since the middle of the 19th century. People have sung about it, written about it and even used it in advertising campaigns!

In 1927, Listerine benefited from single women wanting to get married by telling them the reason they weren't married was because of Chronic Halitosis (a word the company made up!) --- a.k.a women were single because of bad breath!



One ad specifically geared towards weddings was of a woman named Edna.

"Edna's case was really a pathetic one. Like every woman, her primary ambition was to marry. Most of the girls of her set were married-- or about to be. Yet not one possessed more grace or charm or loveliness than she.
And as her birthdays crept gradually toward that tragic thirty-mark, marriage seemed farther from her life than ever. She was often a bridesmaid but never a bride.
* * *
That's the insidious thing about halitosis (unpleasant breath). You, yourself, rarely know when you have it. And even your closest friends won't tell you. "

I feel like I could write a-whole-nother blog about that ad: Women's primary ambition is marriage, the tragic thirty-mark.. Sounds eerily familiar! Good thing Listerine will solve all of these problems!

Now does this mean that since I have been a bridesmaid three times that I am entirely without hope of ever marrying?
Luckily for me, apparently there is a twist to the old three times a bridesmaid, never a bride--- If a woman is a bridesmaid seven times, she will marry very happily! (Or is it 27 times?) I guess I will have to find some more friends! ;)

Besides the wonderful ladies that I have had the honour of 'maiding to' are definitely all worth any risks that may come my way as a result!
-B